The quest was simple. I needed some five foot bamboos to mend and strengthen the construction we call "the piano" over which we grow runner beans in the summer. I also wanted two four or five foot bamboos for a new idea of vines in pots, to be grown rather like larger Bonsais with an umbrella-like top of leaves and fruit. So I set out one morning to buy bamboos - all simple enough. Surprisingly, our local garden centre does not stock them. This meant I had to take a bus to a much larger garden centre about an hour's distance away.
All was well and good when the bus, which normally goes straight on near the garden centre, turned, rather suddenly left. I lost my footing and fell on part of the bus, which was to give me a nasty bruise on the thigh, but no broken bones.
At the garden centre there were plenty of bamboos for sale in bundles of ten, but the shortest were seven feet tall - too long, I felt, for travelling back by bus. But I took a chance and bought a bundle.
At the bus stop for my return journey the driver, who came to a stop at my request, refused me entry. "Two metres is the maximum length allowed for the likes of that", he said. After a short discussion, he agreed to take me to the nearest main line railway station for me to continue my journey by rail. I boarded and managed to arrange my bundle of bamboos to just touch the plastic ceiling but not to damage it.
Then I realised that the railway would deposit me in central London, and I would be far worse off. Perhaps if I shortened the bamboos all would be well.
So, at a stop near shops, I disembarked with the idea of either borrowing a saw or buying a cheap one, cutting and shortening the bamboos, possibly on the pavement or in a bus shelter.
Two ladies in a Pound shop did not know what a saw was and directed me to a sweet counter. I returned to the pavement to further enquire if there might be a hardware merchant in the district. After a short walk I found a branch of Screw fix, in a small shop where pre-orders were dealt with by young men behind plastic screens.
A most helpful assistant produced a small Junior Hacksaw from below the counter, and with a measure (seemingly in feet and inches) we measured roughly what two metres would be. With the bundle taking up rather a lot of room, I started to saw, with the counter as my workbench.
As the bundle swung around a bit and might have upset trade, the boss appeared, heard my tale and took me and the bamboos to a nearby office. Not only that, but he volunteered to cut the remaining bamboos for me.
What lovely and understanding people they had been. A proffered reward was declined.
Now, with a bundle of roughly two metre bamboos, I was on my way home - without dispute.
